God’s Got This

The last 2 weeks has been some kind of craziness. We found out on Wednesday a week before Thanksgiving that the bottom part of Stephanie’s heart was not working. Thursday we were told we need to get her an echocardiogram on Friday. On Friday morning as we were traveling to the test, we got a call from OSU Ross heart center that they wanted to schedule the day before Thanksgiving for her to have a heart Cath, an EPS (electrical test) on her heart and put in a pacemaker.

 

This all came at us really fast and did not give us a while lot of time to process the whole thing. We also wanted to share with our children especially Sam and Kyla who live at home still and help them process this and make a plan for them while mom spent a couple of days in the hospital.

 

As we prayed about it and wondered what their response would be, this is what we got from them. We told Sam on Saturday night and told Kyla when she got home Sunday morning  before church so we could let people in church know what was going on.

 

Here is the response I got from my 18 and 15 year old. We have seen dad leave in an ambulance and have seen him survive so many times in the hospital and so this is no big deal, God has this!!!

Because they have seen God be faithful in my life so many times, this was no big deal to them.

 

Sometimes though I have to remind myself also that God has this in control. I have given God my wife and children as I have dealt with my health issues and have told God, if I can’t take care of them then he will have to. God has chosen to allow me to have them in my life.

 

One of the times I had to remind myself that God has this. When they took Stephanie out for the Heart Cath in the morning it was so fast we didn’t get time to say anything but love you and she was gone. Then we waited about 4 or 5 hours until they came to get her for the Electric test on heart and I asked if they were going to put in a pacemaker. They said if it takes more than an hour then you can assume we are putting in a pacemaker and we said I love you and she was gone again for almost 6 hours.

When they took her I went to visit a friend in the James Cancer Center and then went to get something to eat. It had been about 2 hours now and no one had called me and so I thought well they must be putting in a pacemaker.

 

Then something from a dark place brought a thought to me, what if Stephanie doesn’t make it. This brought up many bad and sad thoughts. Through tears I had to recommit myself to God and to give my wife to God again and thank Him for the time I have had and that I was okay with His plan no matter what it was but that I would love to have my wife back.  I had to remind myself that God has this. With this came a peace that was overwhelming and I went back to our room to wait for Stephanie to get back. A few more hours and they roll Stephanie back into the room. The dr. came and said everything went fine. 

 

You would think this would be the end to this journey with God and Stephanie.

 

Last night we had to go to the ER for Stephanie and they found a blood clot and gave her blood thinner and sent us home. Again we tell the kids who had to spend the night together alone and it again is no big deal. They want to know what we are going through. They want to be a part of the process. We share my health issues and now Stephanie’s issues but we also talk about how Big God is and His faithfulness and that God has a plan and it is a good plan!!!!!  

 

The biggest thing I want for my children and those around me to understand is that God is big enough for your situation. There is no situation too big or too small for God. God has it in His hands!!

 

If you are going through some difficulties this Christmas season and are struggling, I want you to know that the Creator of the Universe is on your side. He loves you and cares for you.

 

There are people (our children, neighbors, co-workers) around you watching how you respond in your sickness, in your struggles, in your hurts, and in your sorrows.

 

 They are watching to see if God is really as Big as we say He is.

They are watching to see if we truly believe what we say about God.

They are watching to see if we live in such a way that shows our Faith in God is real.

 

My prayer for you is that, No Matter what you are going through, whether it is a life or death situation or just some smaller struggles with life you understand and can believe that……………..

 

God Has This!!!!

 

 

Just a Thought!!!

WEAKNESS is Okay in God’s Hands

This is a longer blog but I hope me dealing with God can help you a little,

 

For the last few months I have been dealing with the frustration of feeling weak and inadequate because of my health and I never want to let people down, It started when I got a handicap lanyard and I almost had a breakdown because to get this I had to admit I had a handicap,I had a weakness!!

 

I hate feeling weak or that I can’t handle something. Nate can do it. I will just run faster and work harder,

Whatever it take to get the job done.

 I don’t want to fail my family…….

I don’t want to fail my church….

I really don’t want to fail God…..

 

So I am trying to deal with this and then life just keeps getting better for me health wise,,,, some sarcasm there.  Not a lot but a little.

Last week they brought into my house a oxygen concentrator because my lung function has gone so low and when I did my 6 minutes walk my oxygen level was going below 80  and my lung function is at 40 % for the last 3 months, the last time it was this low a year ago I spent 5 days in the hospital.

 So the even started talking putting in a pick line for iv antibiotics. Because I have been doing steroid shot and antibiotics shots on and off for 4 weeks  now besides take 20 mg of prednisone every day and 2 antibiotics, the z pack and levaquin…..

 

This all being said my temperature is dropping and 2 weeks ago it was down to 96.1 and last week it was down to 95.7 and my white blood cells are going up. Which means my body is not fighting off this infection in me.

 

I am not sure any of this makes sense to you but it is what I am processing.

So they want me to be on oxygen all the time and have a 50 ft cord to run through my house and they want me to carry and an oxygen tank with me all the time….. I can’t do it!!!  It will make look weak!!

 

I am having a hard time wanting to carry this tank with me all the time because I think it makes me look weak. The last thing I want is for people to see me as weak.

 

 I am okay when they seeing me crazy, different, wild, a little off the deep end but not weak. I don’t want to be limited by my bodies limitations.

 

Then the  God that created Nate, gets Nate to read a scripture.

In 2 Corinthians 12:10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

 

I just want to say WHAT IN THE WORLD!!!!!!    It is like God is messing with me through Paul…

 

Come on Paul you really delight in weakness and difficulties give me a break.

Look at the definition   for delight -- a high degree of gratification, really peeps a high degree of gratification from being weak or having difficulties.

 

: extreme satisfaction = I am completely satisfied with what is happening  my life in fact I am so completely extremely satisfied, I would rather pass on second helpings of weakness,insults, hardships, persecutions,  difficulties, and health problems. I am full right now and waiting for it all to digest.

Something that gives great pleasure, golfing gives me pleasure, ping pong gives me pleasure, swimming gives me pleasure, play euchre gives me pleasure……But when I look to what really gives me pleasure,



I really don’t jump and yell , I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties because it gives me GREAT P LEASURE!!!!!   So give me more lol  


That’s just plain crazy talk..

 

In the Message bible or my translation of 2 Corinthians 12:7- Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so Nate wouldn’t get a big head,



Nate was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. I was given a gift of a handicap, it is Christmas time and some socks and underwear would have been enough of a gift!!!! But God is more than a socks and underwear gift giver!!!!! He gives gifts that will change your life forever.



Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. Yes he did. .  No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that. I get this, I have asked over and over and over, to heal me and take these ailments away and then he told me,

My grace is enough; it’s all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

I had to comes to terms that as I decrease God increases and the more I can’t do in my weakness the more God can do in His strength. And When God does it, it is so beyond me,,,,,

Once I caught on to this, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift.

It Truly is a gift, I get to share my story and help to encourage others.  I was able to tell a friend that just found out they have leukemia and will be in the James Cancer Center at OSU for at least a month for chemo.

Because of all my hospital stays, I shared you have not because you ask not. I told her by second or third day I would have 5 pillows.  When I saw her is bed she had 6, I was a bit jelly.

I also told her about ordering what you want and what you might want food and they will bring it, like double bacon for breakfast and sherbet for every meal and she now has extra food in the fridge in her room.

 It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I am working on take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks and health situations.

I just need to let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become through Him!!!

It seems the harder it is for me the more I have to let go and let God.

The more I let Go and let God the better I do.

                                                                                                                        Just a thought

Father,

Help me to humble myself to your plan. Thank you for all the things that have come my way and because of it I am more loving and compassionate and less critical. Your amazing Grace is enough for me, Be glorified through my life.

For those out there that are struggling with health, financial, family, job situations, esteems issues, Give them your hope, grace, and strength in their weaknesses through the power of your Holy Spirit.

We pray this for your glory and through the blood of your son Jesus Christ. Amen

 

Be watching for the oxygen tank hanging around me more!!!!!

Keep on Walking

Keep on Walking

A couple of songs have been on my mind during this week

I couldn’t sleep because of the steroid and was thinking about how some many people in our community are struggling with cancer and other medical problem. It seems that is is overwhelming.

I get overwhelming, 2 shots a day of antibiotics and steroids to help me breath beside I amd taking 2 other antibiotics and 20 mg of steroids….It is crazy, crazy crazy!!!

I  have many people ask me how to I get through everything that keeps coming at me with no sgins of stopping..

The other night I couldn’t sleep and I came across a cool song.  I listen to about 6 or 7 singers sing it.

Everyone from Susan Boyle to the Righteous Brothers singing, when you walk through  the storm putting their own spin on it.

Elvis Presley said this before singing this song

You’ve never stood in the mans shoes

You’ve never seen life through His eyes

Or stood there with helpless hands while the person beside you dies

So help your brother along the way, no matter where he starts

For the same God who made you, made him to……

 

When you walk through the storm
Hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark
At the end of the storm
There's a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of the lark

Walk on, through the wind
Walk on, through the rain
Though your dreams be tossed and blown
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone
You'll never walk alone

Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone
You'll never walk alone

This is how I keep going. 


I keep walking forward with God because I know that at the end of the storm there is a golden morn.

 

In Todd Fields version there is a chorus that makes so much sense when it gets hard in life.

It is well, it is well, through the storms I am held

It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, it is well, God has won, Christ prevailed

It is well, it is well, with my soul.

 

It can be Well in our souls when life is crashing around us because in the midst of the storm, we can know with Confidence that God has won and that Christ Prevailed

With this assurance we can keep walking….. Don’t stop Walking

A Christian is one who gets up one more time than he has fallen!!!!  

Keep getting up and Keep Walking!!!  You may stumble but get back up and keep walking.

The wind and the rain may be blowing so hard against you, that it bends your umbrella backward,.

Walk on, Walk on, with Hope in your Heart

As the Winter Warlock said in the Christmas special, “Santa Clause is Coming to Town,”

just put one foot in front of the other and soon you will be walking out the door!!!!!!!

                                                                                                                                                             

JUST A THOUGHT!!!

Loving Ourselves

 

Another night when I can’t sleep and God put this on my mind to share….

 

 

Mark 12:30-31 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ ³¹ The second is this: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” There is no commandment greater than these.”

 

In this scripture I think it is easier to do the first commandment than the second. You may or may not agree but here is my take on this. I think it is easier to love God than ourselves or our neighbors sometimes.

 

To love our neighbor as ourselves starts with us loving ourselves. I don’t know about you but I wrestle with this quite often about loving myself especially since in the last 6 or 7 months I have gained over 70 pounds because of all the prednisone I have to take. I hate being as heavy as I am.......

 

In my closet I have 3 different sizes of shirts which are xl, xx and xxx. It depends on where I am at in my weight with my meds on which section I take my clothes from.

 I have lost most of the weight before and then gained it back. I have to keep reminding myself that God loves Nate for Nate no matter what size Nate is. Sometimes there is just more of Nate for God to love.

 

I am enough for God not matter what I look like and I need to love who I am if I am going to be able to  love others. If I can accept me, it is easier for me to accept others. If I can’t accept me it hinders my accepting others.

 

When we can learn to love  and accept ourselves despite what we think and see as our flaws, (which are the things that God sees that makes each person special.) It opens the door for us to also love others no matter what imperfections we think they may have. We all are made in the image of God.

 

God doesn’t look at our imperfections, he looks at our potential. When God looks at us, he looks at us like parents look at their newborn baby, they only see their beautiful baby.

 

Each one of us is enough for God just as we are. Whether you have freckles or no freckles, whether you are heavy or skinny, whether you are tall or short. God says you are enough and he has a plan for your life.

 

Part of that plan is for you to love and accept who you are so you can begin to love and accept others.

 

Today is the day to say  “I love me because God created me just as I am and I am enough for God and He has a plan for my life” 

Repeat that to yourself,,,,, “I love me because God created me just as I am and I am enough for God and He has a plan for my life.” 

 

Now give yourself a Hug!!!!  Because you love you!!!! God loves you.

Now start loving other!!!!!!

 

Just a thought…..

Halloween---Condemn or Redeem

 

First off Happy Birthday to Annie, my oldest daughter,  my Halloween Treat. You make Halloween even more special with your birth.

 

I am so glad and proud of leading a church that instead of condemning Halloween we strive to make it better for the children. It was definitely notice by many children attending our Harvest Carnival.  When I was younger my churches just condemned it and did nothing to celebrate it, but even didn’t not want kids going trick or treating even.

 

Many people of our church put in a lot of time and energy and Candy to make sure that when children walked through the doors of our church, they experienced love and acceptance and candy and played games and even played on the bounce house but they knew it was safe and friendly and loving.

 

We have a choice as churches and Christians to condemn these holidays or to redeem them. We chose as a church to redeem Halloween and use it as an outreach to the community. It was great watching children running with excitement to the church to see what was going to happen, I wish that was our every Sunday approach. That people would run to church with excitement to see what was going to happen.

 

Shouldn’t was all be wanting children and adults running into church in great anticipation that something good is going to happen.

 

In preparation for our Harvest Carnival, we had our youth carving pumpkins for decorations.

What would happen if this is how we would carve our pumpkins, I wonder what they may look like?????

 

(First cut off top of pumpkin}
Lord, open my mind so I can learn new things about you.

 

{remove innards}
Remove the things in my life that don’t please you.
Forgive the wrong things I do and help me to forgive others.

 

{cut open eyes}
Open my eyes to see the beauty you’ve made in the world around me.

 

{cut out nose}
I’m sorry for the times I’ve turned my nose at the good food you provide.

 

{cut out mouth}
Let everything I say please You.

 

{light the candle}
Lord, help me show your light to others through the things I do. Amen

 

Maybe just maybe after you are done your pumpkin it may resemble someone you know.

 

Instead of judging things for evil, why not try to make them something to reach people for Christ in Love....

Just a thought.

Is It Raining on You

In Matthew 5:45 it states that God sends rain on the just and unjust or the righteous and unrighteous or my take the Christians and the non-Christians. He sends rain on everyone.

 

So  it was raining a couple days ago and I was thinking as I saw people in a parking lot going to and from their cars to the Grocery store….

 

All of them had to walk in the rain. Whether they were Christians or Sinners, they had to walk in the rain. The rain fell on them all. The big difference I found out about these people is how they dealt with the rain.  

 

Some just got out of their vehicle and ran to the store thinking they would get less wet.

(Myth busters disproved that).

 

Some just walked and knew they were going to get wet and I don’t think cared and were apathetic about the whole thing and were not even going to make an attempt  to stay dry.. 

 

Then there were some people who prepared for the rain. They opened their doors up just enough to put out and open their umbrella. Then got out of the car with an umbrella over them..

 

Then there are those that have someone drive them up to the door and they hardly get wet at all.

 

Which one of these are you????

 

Because in your life it is going to rain and storm on you. I can guarantee it!!!!

 

In life we get rained and stormed on and sometimes it becomes a monsoon but whatever size the storm or the rain is we need to be prepared.

 

When it is raining on you and you know it is going to affect your life, do you put up your protection of God’s umbrella???

Do you even have that umbrella or is God not a part of your life so you are just running around getting wet and suffering for it??

 

Mark Twain once said, "The rain is famous for falling on the just and unjust alike, but if I had the management of such affairs, I would rain softly and sweetly on the just, but if I caught a sample of the unjust outdoors, I would drown him."

 

I think most of us can relate some days.

 

 It is a good thing God is God and not us.

 

Here’s my take on it: because God is merciful and gracious and abounding in steadfast love, we ourselves are assured of forgiveness; there can be redemption; and there are second chances.

 

Today is the day you can open the umbrella of God to protect you but you have to go to Him and ask him for it. You need to ask him into your life to take control.

 

Then you can quit tell God how big your Storm is and start telling your Storm how Big your God is!!!!!!

 

Just a thought!!!!!!!!

Hero to Zero

Last Sunday night, our church had an all church skating night. I love these skating nights because I have skated since I was little. If I got my room clean then my brother and I could go skating. We would go every Saturday. The owner would teach us tricks and how to speed skate.


 I met my wife Stephanie skating. Stephanie and I both have our own skates. I am a great skater, I can skate backwards, sideways, I can spin..... I say all this to explain my Hero to Zero night of skating.


I hadn't been feeling well for a few weeks and so Stephanie and I both left our personal skates at home because I told Stephanie and my children I wasn't going to skate. 


I was doing well, just hanging out and playing pool with some of the teens. Then they had the numbers game and said you could play it with or without skates. So I went out in my shoes and actually won the game never leaving the number 4 corner.




 I went back to my pool playing. When all of a sudden I heard them stop the music and said please stop and go in the opposite direction, It was 6:22 pm because I looked at the clock and started thinking I love going in the opposite direction because I can skate side ways the whole time, like I am surfing. I had the rationale that It wouldn't hurt if I just went around a few times sideways.


Temptation starts when we have the rationale that it won't hurt if I just do it a little.


So I walked up to the skate counter and asked if I could borrow a pair of skates for the opposite direction skate. The owner is a friend of mine so they gave me a professional pair just like mine.


Again I had the thought that if I am going to go around just a couple of times I probably don't need to lace my skates up all the way and just tied them half way up. They were pretty lose.


Temptation continues when you start cutting corners in life because you think you are so good you don't have to do what you know you need to do to be safe.


So I skated up to go on the skate floor and Stephanie saw me and said , What do you think you are doing??  I thought we agreed that we both were not going to skate.   I reply but it will just be a couple of laps...... (at the end of the night she told me she thought I had asked for the opposite direction skate.)


So I went out and started skating and came to the first turn and then turned my skates and started skating sideways... I was thinking yeah look at me, I am the man. the announcer announced that I was out on the skating floor and now I am thinking I am all that and a bag of chips...... til I came to the second end by where I had started.


Temptation continues when you think you can't fail because you are so awesome and nothing can stop me and you don't need to listen to great advice.


Just as I was coming around the corner picking up speed, 2 children without skates ran onto the skate floor right in front of me and I thought if I hit them, I would kill them. (normally if my skates were tied tight and I was skating straight this wouldn't have been such a problem. I probably would have just grabbed them and kept on skating but I was skating sideways in very loose skates.


 The only way that I could see to not hit them was to hit one of the pillars in the middle of the skate floor and spin around it and miss the children. So I turned into the pillar(okay I hit the Pillar) and spun around it and spared these 2 children. I thought I heard clapping and cheering that I was a hero for not running into these children. I hear them talking and my chest swells.  I think I am a Hero and so I may go around one more time like a victory lap. Because I am The MAN!!


Temptation can come when you get a swelled head and you think you are a Hero...PRIDE!!!!




So as I start out on my own personal victory lap, I run into the wall but that does stop me I am a hero and on a hero lap... I come around the first turn on the other end and am picking up speed.  AS I come down the straight way I am cruising along and then as I come up to the second end. you will never guess what happened! A little boy with no skates runs out on to the floor followed by 3 adults chasing him and I again am about to kill a child and take the parents out as well.  Can't get to the pillar so I decide if I spin around I can go straight and try to avoid them.  Did I mention I didn't tie my skates or tighten them before I skated??  


I went to spin, which if I had taken some time with my skates wouldn't have been an issue, and I lost control and spun myself into the splits and threw myself onto the floor... It hurt BAD,,, REAALLY BAD!!!!   My  18 year old comes over and asked me if I split my pants. I say no as I am moaning a bit. Stephanie comes up and kept asking me if I wanted ice and  I very politely said no.


I didn't want to get up, I kick off my loose skates without untying them. I sit up and start to untie my skate the man running the skating told me I didn't have to undue the skates he would get them,. but asked me if I was okay. I got up slowly and walked awkwardly off the floor and felt sick.


I no longer felt like a hero, right now I totally felt like a ZERO.  


I had to drive our church van home with the teens and could barely lift my leg off the gas to push the brake..


I share this story because this all started when I started to think I knew what was best for me and thought I had a better plan and so I didn't listen to anyone else.  After I ran into trouble the first time instead of stopping because I already hurt from hitting the pole, knowing I probably shouldn't be on skates, I let my pride take over thinking again I knew what was best and I crashed and burned.


How many times do we think we know the plan for our life better than God?


WE let pride get in the way and keep doing what we know we shouldn't be doing and get hurt. We want to blame the children, the skates , and everyone, sometimes we even blame God.


 We blame everyone but ourselves for not doing what we knew we should be doing.


WE need to know that God has a plan for our lives and it is a good plan.


If you want to be the MAN,          then follow God's plan!!!!